Back in august.

Being back.



Hmm. How can I put it?



I'm here, but I'm not, at the same time. Something I didn't think was possible. The things that I used to worry about aren't even on my mind half the time anymore. Instead...I find myself figuring out what time it is in Nsoko, wondering what the kids are doing today...wondering how the kids are doing today. Are they sick? Are they still going to school? Do they remember us? Do they miss us? Have they forgotten?

Because I haven't. I can't.


I've told people that this past summer was life changing. But that doesn't really explain it very accurately. No, my life was demolished. Emptied and filled, simultaneously. I remember very clearly who I used to be, but I can't be that person anymore. What I've seen has changed not only my heart...but its changed my mind. My vision.

It's kind of lonely, you know? Trying to make sense of it all to people who didn't witness the things I did...that day of worship at Pauline's; tire boy; Dudu's smile. Pictures don't do justice, stories can be told, but if action doesn't happen, what do we have? Memories? Recollections?


I hope we have more than that.


We have an obligation to the rest of the world, to at least listen. To hear them. If we listen, and hear the voices, and really hear the voices, we will have to act, respond. Because how could anyone ignore the beautiful voices of so many?

We can do something. People say that we can't...they tell me that the problem is too big...but that's not the real problem. The real problem is that our hearts, our love and kindness and mercy and compassion is too small. The real problem is that our selfishness is thriving abundantly among us, and we are in short supply of selfless love. We are, quite honestly, lazy.
I say 'we' because I am guilty as well. I know there are people, MANY people out there that have given everything they own for the sake of something greater - I've met a few who astound me. There are many people out there fighting, and it's not for personal gain from what I can tell...and I just think about how vastly different the world might look if there were more people like them in the world.
People who act on what they can...people not afraid to do everything in their power to love people into the Kingdom of Heaven. People not afraid to radiate and resemble Christ....people not afraid to die to themselves and live for One Reason.

Oh people. Do not be afraid.